When the train left the station, it had two lights on behind

When I was a child I would often spin around in circles, arms outstretched, and it would take me to another planet. Sometimes lying in bed I would close my eyes and press against them with my thumbs, causing me to see strange shapes and colors.

I do not believe I was doing this to run away from anything; to escape reality. I think I was doing it solely to experience something that I otherwise could not, in ordinary circumstances. As I've grown older I have found other ways to achieve this state.

Tonight I found myself witness to the apparently pending divorce of my heart and my mind. They separated for a while, likely due to poor communication. But after too long a time passing since they last communicated, they grew distant and now wish to formerly divorce due to irreconcilable differences. But they both (as well as myself) know that's bullshit.

With their permission, I acted as mediator to one of their counseling sessions. I aimed to merely facilitate a dialogue between the two, and despite my best efforts at assisting both parties in speaking a language the other one might understand, I fear the operation was a total failure.

The sad thing is that my heart and mind, at this point, actually plan to stay together. During the discussion, they began to act empathetically toward each other and are under the impression that their relationship is salvageable. However I know them both too well, and believe that they have successfully tricked themselves into thinking they are back in love with each other. The truth is they're merely in love with being in love.

All their love's in vain.

The situation took a horrible turn for the worst during the exchange near the end of the session. At this point, the heart had begun confessing to the mind that he was right all along. Meanwhile the mind similarly yielded to the heart, vowing to never again second-guess her.

The tragedy is not that they want two different things (though in many ways they do). What really kills me is that they want the same thing: what each other wants.

I fear it is only a matter of time before one of them realizes that it is impossible for both wishes to coexist-- they likely are mutually exclusive. But despite what they think, it is impossible for them to divorce. They're stuck with each other. The decision isn't even theirs. Unbeknownst to them, my gut is the supreme regulator of all things organ.